


an abridged story of eren & his quest to be a polkamaster

by hesselives



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Humor, idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hesselives/pseuds/hesselives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren does a thing called polka.</p>
<p>(spontaneously keymashed together for <a href="http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/524.html?thread=846860">this snkkink prompt</a>: <em>polkafest au in which eren wants to win the polka dancing competition more than anything in the world</em>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	an abridged story of eren & his quest to be a polkamaster

"MOM, OH GOD. MOM. _NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING_."

Carla Yeager grimaces. "Calm down, Eren. It's just an ankle fracture."

He clenches his hands, tears of anger swimming in his eyes. "But you were training _so hard_ to win this year’s District Polka Championship!"

"It's all right. There’s always next—"

"NO. I’M GOING TO WIN IT FOR YOU. FOR THIS FAMILY. FOR SHINGANSHINA DISTRICT."

Carla blinks slowly as the painkillers start kicking in. "Okay, son."

+++++

"Eren, your obsession with polka is starting to scare people...” Armin says carefully.

Eren turns toward him with a confused expression. "But I have to win."

"You know, there's a whole world outside of polka class. Like canoeing...and scrapbooking..." Armin's voice falters as he tries to think of other safe hobbies.

"Hey, Eren." Mikasa walks up to them, holding up her car keys. "Do you need me to drive you to polka class?"

At the sound of her voice, Jean immediately sidles up to them. "Hi, Mikasa. Hi. I could use a ride to polka class."

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Eren thunders.

+++++

[ 104th District Polka Championship ]

"That’s him," Armin whispers in awe.

"What? Who?" Eren peers over the crowd.

"Humanity's best polka dancer."

"Hah. Best polka dancer, my ass," Eren sneers. "What is he, like, 40?"

As if by magic, humanity's best polka dancer materializes behind him. "What did you say, you little shit?"

"Jesus fuck," Eren wheezes as he suffers a small heart attack.

Polkamaster Levi grabs Eren's hair and pulls him dangerously close. "Listen here and listen closely: I will polka-stomp the _fuck_ out of you, your mother, your sister, your little girlfriend here–" (" _What_ ," Armin scowls) "—and anyone that you hold dear. Do you understand?"

"H-hey, I didn't–"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND."

"SIR YES SIR."

And that is the story of how Eren Yeager won second place.

The end.


End file.
